I am constantly talking and writing about communications and people skills we need to facilitate communication as leaders. It has recently dawned on me that I’ve been missing the most important thing, being engaged with our people and others.
Engaged means you are committed to a connection with a person or a group of people. As a leader it conveys an unspoken commitment that you care about what you’re saying and what your message is. It is literally the first thing you need to do before meaningful communication happens.
I did an experiment. When I drive around the neighborhoods of my suburban town, I wave to people walking on the street to see who would engage with me by the simple return gesture of a wave. I think we can all agree there is nothing simpler than returning wave from a passing car. Since I’m not near the person, there should be no fear of having to speak, be witty or start a conversation. I’m happy to say that most people wave back and even sport a smile while doing so. This confirms that simple human engagement is welcomed most of the time.
Now the lesson comes from the people who do not wave back! Some people just don’t want to engage at the simplest level. Face-to-face is even more blatant. So, I learned the phrase “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink” is really true. Maybe better stated, “you can be a leader and engage, but you can’t make them engage back!” Don’t let this dissuade you, just realize it is true.
How can we as leaders engage people?
– Actively take the first step (be the first one to say hi in the morning)
– Ask thoughtful questions about work (how is your project going, are you enjoying your new role)
– Be the one who waves or waves back, don’t be the one who can’t be bothered
The bottom line; without Engaging we have no chance of Communicating